i look at the test not believing what it says. 'IM PREGNANT!!!!' i scream in my mind i cant do this peeta is dead i cant be having childeren after hes gone i already have two now i have another one. i feel tears fill my eyes again i can barely mother the two childeren i already have how can i mother another one. a child that will never met its father a child that peeta will never know or get the chance to love. tears fall down my cheeks i cant do it ive broken one can only be strong for so long one will eventually fall to peices and that time for me happened to be right now and i cant be there for my kids right now when they need me most if i cant even be there for myself. i look down at the stick again 'what am i gonna do?' is the only question in my mind. i place my hands on my abdomon peeta would be so happy to hear im pregnant again but hes not here to even know im pregnant again. our third child! i almost cant believe it maybe this was the thing i needed to maybe start becoming independant from peeta. then i hear the footsteps of my son running down the stairs. i walk out of the bathroom just in time to have him latch onto my legs.
"im sorry mommy" i hear him mumbling into my legs i crouch down and give him a big hug.
"its ok jayden" i whisper in his ear "you were upset and angry about daddy im not mad" i can feel him tighten his grip on me
"but mommy i said bad things that i shouldnt have said" he cries into my shoulder and i just hold him tightly and hum in his ear until he calms down.
"all better?" i ask a while later pulling him slightly away from me and i see him wipe away his tears and nod.
"im gonna miss daddy" he says softly i kiss him on the head
"me too" i reply softly "im gonna miss daddy too" i hold him tightly while he cries and after he has cryed himself out i pull him off me and look at him.
"is your sister up yet?" i ask and before he can answer i hear her running down the stairs and she almost tackles me.
"is everything ok with u and jayden mommy?" she askes and i nod smiling a little
"yes everything is all better" i tell her and look at them they still seem sad and i crouch down in front of them "hey i have an idea why dont u guys come down to the bakery with me today?" i ask them i see a smile appear on both there faces and they nod happily. they rarely get to go and when they do its a treat for them and after what they just found out i think they need it. i smile and stand up
"alright then i will start on breakfast u guys get dressed and after breaskfast we will go ok?" i tell them and before i finish my scentance they are already running up the stairs. i smile and walk to the kitchen 'at least i have done something right' i think i start making some breakfast of bacon and eggs. when lily and jayden come down the stairs lily is wearing one of her soft orange sun dresses that brings out her dark brown hair ,similar to mine, she got when she was in district 2 with peeta. i smile and walk over to her.
"you look beautiful sweetie" i tell her kissing the top of her head and i turn to jayden whos wearing a camoflauge T-shirt and regular blue jeans. i smile and pick him up.
"look at my handsome boy here" i say tickling him and his laughter echos through the house. i smile and put him down.
"come on lets eat and get going" i tell them putting some food on three plates and setting one in front of lily and one in front of jayden. i sit down beside jayden and eat my breakfast. after we all finished we got our shoes on and i grab each on my kids hands and together we set off towards the bakery.
"im sorry mommy" i hear him mumbling into my legs i crouch down and give him a big hug.
"its ok jayden" i whisper in his ear "you were upset and angry about daddy im not mad" i can feel him tighten his grip on me
"but mommy i said bad things that i shouldnt have said" he cries into my shoulder and i just hold him tightly and hum in his ear until he calms down.
"all better?" i ask a while later pulling him slightly away from me and i see him wipe away his tears and nod.
"im gonna miss daddy" he says softly i kiss him on the head
"me too" i reply softly "im gonna miss daddy too" i hold him tightly while he cries and after he has cryed himself out i pull him off me and look at him.
"is your sister up yet?" i ask and before he can answer i hear her running down the stairs and she almost tackles me.
"is everything ok with u and jayden mommy?" she askes and i nod smiling a little
"yes everything is all better" i tell her and look at them they still seem sad and i crouch down in front of them "hey i have an idea why dont u guys come down to the bakery with me today?" i ask them i see a smile appear on both there faces and they nod happily. they rarely get to go and when they do its a treat for them and after what they just found out i think they need it. i smile and stand up
"alright then i will start on breakfast u guys get dressed and after breaskfast we will go ok?" i tell them and before i finish my scentance they are already running up the stairs. i smile and walk to the kitchen 'at least i have done something right' i think i start making some breakfast of bacon and eggs. when lily and jayden come down the stairs lily is wearing one of her soft orange sun dresses that brings out her dark brown hair ,similar to mine, she got when she was in district 2 with peeta. i smile and walk over to her.
"you look beautiful sweetie" i tell her kissing the top of her head and i turn to jayden whos wearing a camoflauge T-shirt and regular blue jeans. i smile and pick him up.
"look at my handsome boy here" i say tickling him and his laughter echos through the house. i smile and put him down.
"come on lets eat and get going" i tell them putting some food on three plates and setting one in front of lily and one in front of jayden. i sit down beside jayden and eat my breakfast. after we all finished we got our shoes on and i grab each on my kids hands and together we set off towards the bakery.
